It didn’t take long for me to become accustomed to living with a host family – from the start they were warm and generous, taking me out to lunch, as well as inviting friends over to eat nabe and celebrate my arrival on the first night at their home. After only a week, I feel like they are family – not a replacement of my mom and dad, of course, but rather another type of family in another country and culture. Even though they are both retired, the house is lively, especially on weekend afternoons; extended family visits regularly, so I can look forward to being entertained by the antics of their toddler grandkids. I’m glad to have been placed with host parents whose lives are joyful and who have relatives who often want to spend time with them. I couldn’t help but think of people I know in the US who are too wrapped up in their own personal lives to deal with their elderly parents and, as a result, send them to a care facility so that strangers will look after them.

I talked to K about the concept of enryo that seems to be prevalent in Japan and other Asian countries. http://neojaponisme.com/2009/01/15/enryo/ My main point was that I didn’t find it too hard to adjust to Japanese culture because my Taiwanese mother raised me with this concept of politeness in mind, which involves holding back in situations, in what I would almost characterize as avoiding confrontations or making waves. He agreed that he was raised similarly, but added that he sometimes hated enryo, because people can do it to such an extent that you can never really know what they truly think or feel. For instance, if he were to do something out of favor or even offensive without realizing it, some people might restrain themselves from saying anything, but they would perhaps internalize the negativity, or complain about it with others behind his back. If people are always enryo, I realized, it’s hard for either party to communicate, resolve tension, and reach a greater understanding as a result.